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Book Seven: Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita
1.A friend of mine was once a witness in the trial of a child molester. Driving in her hometown, she had seen a man take a child who wasn’t his, and called the cops. She told me this by way of...
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Your Pet’s Sixth Sense
Every animal owner has their (excuse me) pet theories about their hairy companions—you’ve probably heard the like from friends, if you don’t harbour the same thoughts yourself: “She’s psychic! She...
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Why Facebook’s WhatsApp Purchase Feels Like Cultural Imperialism
Is cultural imperialism the wrong phrase to describe Facebook’s purchase of WhatsApp? On the surface, it certainly sounds absurd. WhatsApp was, after all, yet another Silicon Valley company that was...
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The Hazlitt Offensive: Anna Hope
Anna Hope is an English writer and actress from Manchester. Her debut novel, Wake, is set after World War I where three different women try to live after dealing with loss.1. What are three words you...
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Virtual Realities in which William S. Burroughs Meets FKA Twigs
“You matter. You have value. You have every right to wear your hoodie, to play your music as loud as you want. You have every right to be you. And no one should deter you from being you. You have to be...
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Not Every Nation Can Choose Its Own Fate
In less than a week, everything of importance has changed in Ukraine. Viktor Yanukovych ceased to be the effective president sometime on Friday and fled the capital Saturday, and is currently reported...
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We’re All Going to Die and We All Want to Watch
The main spoiler alert is that everything ends, but we’re also going to discuss specific endings, so watch yourself.The Lego Movie begins with Emmet Brickowski realizing he’s the fabled Master Builder...
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On Alec Baldwin and the Public Shame of the Private Prick
Alec Baldwin comes off as an entitled, ignorant prick in his New York Magazine rant, which is a genuine rant, as in it conjures the image of a child swinging a plastic sword at elaborate bogeymen so...
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It's All, Like, Prison Riots, Normcore and Beard Tastings
“Baltimore’s city jail had, by 2012, fallen so completely under the control of a prison gang that, according to prosecutors, its leader not only maintained a network of guards who smuggled in drugs and...
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We Shop Because We’re Lonely, We’re Lonely Because We Shop
It is a sad paradox of modern existence that on a planet thick with humans—a place chock-full of them—so many are so desperately alone. A recent survey found that more than a third of Americans over 44...
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‘Confronting the language of lies’: Masha Gessen on Pussy Riot
Perhaps no story better encapsulates the poisonous state of Russian politics and society under the Putin regime than that of balaclava-clad art provocateurs Pussy Riot. The three members arrested in...
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Want to Help Uganda’s Gays? Give it a Rest
International relations is hard, often opaque, and never as straightforward as we’d like it to be. Most of us probably have no chance of understanding any of its complexities until Netflix hits, say,...
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Real Uber Confessions
“Just for the record, I have been waiting in this brat’s driveway for fifteen minutes while he (I’m just guessing here) stared at himself in the mirror and (again, just guessing here) debated exactly...
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Non Stop Beautiful Ladies
“The teenager who cries and sweats BLOOD: 19-year-old’s condition first left her suicidal… but has now led her to love.” From The Daily Mail, 6 December 2013You could see the words in bright red from...
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Connecting the Dots in Doug Ford’s Hideous Mind
Guys, Doug Ford has it all figured out.(Ladies, polling suggests you will not be voting for his brother with much enthusiasm, so Doug isn’t talking to you right now.)But back to Doug: Toronto’s Chief...
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Oscar’s Best Songs vs. Billboard’s Number Ones
Unless some mercurial actor happens to be recommending a friend’s book during the festivities, my investment in the Oscars is low. They don’t even work as meaningless spectacle; most of each ceremony...
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Ten Predictions For The 2014 Oscars
It’s Oscar time again, fellow film freaks—and what a cinetastic year it’s been! From outer space to Wall Street to the thrill of slavery, Hollywood really spoiled us silly over the past 12 months. So,...
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Hats Off to Adele Dazeem, and How to Talk Like a Filelfian
Sure, 12 Years A Slave won Best Picture last night, but some jabroni asked Mindy Kaling what “colour” of guys she likes, so, sorry, the world is still gross.Speaking of the Oscars, you can ignore...
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The Pistorius Defence: Black Men Made Me Do It
Reverse fairytale: Valentine’s Day, 2013. While sitting on the toilet after a romantic evening, a beautiful young woman named Reeva Steenkamp was shot to death by her handsome boyfriend, the...
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How the Internet Is Narrowing Our Minds
I heard about Caighlan Smith the old-fashioned way—from inside a stall in the women’s washroom. The women on the other side of the metal partition were discussing a brilliant idea they’d just heard...
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