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How Do I Talk To My Perpetually Stoned Friend?
Got a problem that’s got you feeling fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t? Send us your concerns and questions and Unfuck Yourself. A few weeks ago, my four-year-old niece told me that she preferred...
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Turtles Need iPads And We Need More Groot
“Aren’t children born in the Canal Zone called Zonians? Yes. The Canal Zone has represented for some time the concept of unlimited possibility.” JG Ballard speaks with a teenage Richard Prince.Turtles,...
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Monsters at the Door
My day with Emily Carroll passes in the presence of the moth; I’ve never seen a bigger one. “It’s so meaty,” she says, sounding gleefully disgusted. It clings to the screen door as we cross between her...
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“From now on, the Times will use the word ‘torture.’”Your pals at Hazlitt use Slack daily, and chances are, you will soon, too.Come for Brian Phillips’ unparalleled soccer writing, stay for some of the...
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It’s possible that six years of “Obama is a secret Kenyan moooslim” has lowered the bar for such things, but say this for the latest smear attempt on Justin Trudeau: he did actually go to the mosque in...
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The 50th anniversary edition of Harriet the Spy,published earlier this year by Delacorte Press, comes with a blurb from novelist Jonathan Franzen. “I love the story of Harriet so much I feel as if I...
View ArticleThe Diorama Of Our Future Breakup
I made a diorama of your eye exam from scratchand sniff stickers, the colonel’s favourite privatestash of weed for shrubbery. Broccoli hedgesmy bets with Realism. Gallery-goers caught a rashof suicides...
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Hating Men, BuzzFeed’s Millions, and the Joys of Outlander
Good morning! Do you want to cry? Here’s a thing to cry over.“But man-hating is not just for fun: It’s also a clever tactic for furthering the feminist agenda.” Amanda Hess on the delightful rise of...
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The Novel as a Fizzing Bomb in Your Brain
Nick Harkaway is sitting at a booth overlooking the staircase that leads to the otherwise-empty second floor of a north London brasserie. The writer of cult encyclopedic thrillers The Gone-Away World...
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If Only We Cared About Housing As Much As We Pretend to Care About Milk
If the last week’s headlines are any indication, the battle over—or rather, against—three-litre milk bottles may be one of those fights that’s not worth winning for the dairy farmers of this fair land...
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Sincerity in the Time of Dogboner
At a certain point in your schooling, your English teacher probably told you something about context clues, the words and phrases you can use to help suss out the meaning of a word you don’t...
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Saying Goodbye To Genie
A few great moments in the life of Robin Williams.Why did Michael Brown die in Ferguson? What happened there last night?BuzzFeed’s “not actually in the traffic business … what it’s really good at is...
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Hillary Clinton: Dare to be Stupid
Hillary Clinton has done us the service of providing a look at how she, like all senior politicians seeking the White House when the incumbent is a member of her own party, will distinguish herself...
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Should You Be Tweeting? (Definitely Not)
“I seen the fire come out of the barrell… I could see so vividly what was going on because I was so close.” Dorian Johnson, who watched his friend Mike Brown get shot to death by a Ferguson police...
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How Do I Tell My Roommate She Needs To Flush?
Got a problem that’s got you feeling fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t? Send us your concerns and questions and Unfuck Yourself. The best and worst advice I have ever gotten has always come from my...
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The Arcade: Episode 32, Featuring Emily Carroll
This Week…Creepypasta, the supernatural, and the unease of dreams. I speak with cartoonist Emily Carroll about her debut book, Through the Woods, and cower in fear of her stories.You can subscribe to...
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The Limit Of Every Stupid Movie
The line between law enforcement and combat is blurring in Ferguson, Missouri. Of course, police departments across North America have started resembling military more and more since 2001—perhaps this...
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Does Having a Sense of Humour Make You Funny?
Let’s say you’re an utterly humourless individual with a zeal for self-improvement. Not to worry! A quick Google search for “how to have a sense of humour” leads you to a wikiHow page that helpfully...
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‘We Been Running All Our Mothafuckin’ Lives’
why isn’t anybody Backing us up!When they c these crooked ass Redneck copsconstantly Jacking us upNow I bet some punk will say I’m racistI can tell by the way you smile at methen I remember George...
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